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[1stclasspuppy]

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[1stclasspuppy]

You and Rude are friends with benefits right? Does it get lonely at all? Can you still cuddle each other after?

It gets lonely in my place at night, it's really quiet and I don't like it. Back hoke I had the sounds of the city when I was alone, and when I was on the run my friend was there. He...he didn't talk much but that was still another person breathing near me. I'm not used to this.

[needsabreak]

yeah, that's right

lonely? not really? i don't really sleep great so... maybe i'm not the best person to ask about that. but he's hung around afterward sometimes and i've done the same with other people too. i'm sure there are plenty of people who'd like to cuddle and even spend the night. whether you did anything or not.

[1stclasspuppy]

You don't sleep well? That's not good. Sleep is awesome. Are you someone who likes to cuddle and spend the night, Leon? Maybe if we cuddled you'd be able to sleep better.

[needsabreak]

eh honestly... i mean hanging out can be nice. 'cuddling' or whatever. but i usually try not to stay the night cause i know i'll likely wake up a bunch or not be able to fall asleep or worse

[God damnit, when did this become about him. This was supposed to be a conversation making sure Zack would get laid.]

[1stclasspuppy]

If it's nice then why don't we try? I have so much spare room and it would be nice to know someone else is nearby. We don't have to share the bed if you don't want to. I don't snore I promise!

[He's trying so hard to get Leon to spend the night.]

[needsabreak]

you want me to come sleep over? like... platonically? of course you do.

i

it's not going to go well

i just

i have bad nightmares. really bad.

[He really hated admitting this to anyone but he's sure Zack will blame himself somehow if he's not blatantly honest that the reason he doesn't want to sleep over is because of his own issues, not anything to do with Zack.]

sorry. if you want to sleep, having me over isn't going to help you

[1stclasspuppy]

[Zack does feel awful but only because there doesn't seem like much he can do. He still wants to try.]

Even if you don't sleep, I'd still like you to come over and try. I don't really know what you mean by platonically but I won't do anything you don't like. I just think maybe if I hold you it might help you relax. I have trouble sleeping too so I get the nightmares and well


trauma.


I won't push it but if you ever can't sleep and want company please come knocking on my door. I'd happily let you in and protect you.

[needsabreak]

fine. we can try. i'll give it a real shot. but i've slept with people before and it didn't make a difference. sometimes it makes it worse. being held. i wake up feeling trapped. attacked. but at least i know i can't really hurt you

i don't need anyone to protect me. i can protect myself.

but we can see if how this goes

and. hey. i'd prefer you not tell anyone about the nightmares.

[1stclasspuppy]

<> So I won't hold you then, at least not the whole time. That way you won't feel trapped. I'll just be near as a presence that cam help if you need.

I didn't mean to make you upset Leon. I'm just trying to help anyway I can. I don't have much else I can offer.

You have my word I won't tell anyone. If you want to come tonight, you can. I'll be awake.

[needsabreak]

we'll figure something out

but if i agree to do this, then you have to agree to try something too

you need to at least kiss someone. make out with someone. heavy petting, whatever you want to call it. i think you need to start trying stuff or a month is gonna go by and you're going to end up in trouble and i don't want that to happen to you

what time do you want me to come over?

[1stclasspuppy]

okay I promise

Can I kiss you? That counts right?

If you want I mean. I dont wanna make you uncomfortable around me.

You can come over whenever you're tired.

[needsabreak]

wait

what?

you want to kiss me?

[There had been some hints that Zack might like men and women, but he's still surprised Zack would want to kiss him of all people.]

yeah, that'd count if you wanted to

i haven't even been here that long but already... that doesn't come close to making me feel uncomfortable. i'm just surprised.

how about i come over around 10 and we can watch TV or something?

[1stclasspuppy]

Should I not want to? You're nice and my friend. Friends kiss sometimes

I think

[He never kissed Cloud but he did know Genesis and Angeal were best friends and he saw them kiss, so it must be a thing.]

Well we can if you want or we can just watch tv too. I'll get snacks ready!!

[needsabreak]

just surprised, that's all

i'll see you soon

[As promised, Leon makes his way to the address Zack gives him around 10, getting there just a little past the hour. Since this is a sleepover, he's already in a comfortable looking pair of black sweats and an equally soft looking t-shirt with an out of place looking leather jacket on. He knocks on the door and waits for Zack to answer.]

[1stclasspuppy]

[Zack sends a little smiley face emoji before he sets about cleaning his place which just means he's throwing a few things into a closet to deal with later. He doesn't have much yet but he did buy some clothes. Speaking of clothes he's going to put on the new shorts he bought and a silly loose shirt with three wolves howling at the moon on it.

After getting all his junk food out and taking out a nice warm blanket for the couch is around the time he hears a knock on his door and he rushes to answer it. Leon looks so cute all dressed down, very cozy too. He can't help but smile at him and opens the door for him.]

Hey! Welcome! I hope it wasn't too far to come this way. I like the jacket.

[needsabreak]

[Leon musters up a soft, lopsided smile when Zack opens the door and is practically beaming. It's ridiculously contagious.]

Not far at all. Five minute walk, tops.

[As he steps inside, he shrugs out of the jacket, now looking like he could just crawl into bed based on what he's wearing.] Thanks. It's the only one I've bought here so far, so it was an easy choice when I saw how chilly it was outside.

[But it's a nice temperature in Zack's apartment plus they'll be sitting close, he guesses, and then crawling into bed together.] Have you checked out what's on TV yet? It's all pretty... well, you'll see. [Like most things in Duplicity, sex seemed to be involved in everything.]

[1stclasspuppy]

Whoa only five minutes? Where were you that you were so close??

[Zack heads over to his living room where a few bowls are filled with snacks of all kind and he grabs the bowl of cheese curls, tossing a few into his mouth before he brings it over to Leon and offers some to him.]

I haven't really watched tv yet but I mean it can't be all sex can it? [He had watched both videos at orientation and the first one had been sort of informative, so maybe there is at least a news channel or something they can watch. It can't possibly just be porn...right?]

you aren't chilly in here right? I run hot I've been told so I can hold you if you get cold.

[needsabreak]

[Leon follows him, glancing around. It's strange to see his place. It looks just like another Dominant apartment he'd been in. Identical. Down to the furniture.

He gives Zack a soft smile as he takes a few cheese curls, tossing them into his mouth with a quiet 'thanks'.]

It's not all sex, but everything has sex in it. If that makes sense. Like every sitcom, every movie, every reality show. Sex is gonna happen at some point.

[He continues into the living room and sinks down into the couch.] Nah, I'm good. You can keep me warm anyway. [He gives Zack a little smirk.]

[1stclasspuppy]

Oh well that's not bad. I csn just skip those scenes or something or maybe just hide behind a pillow or something.

[Of course he'd still hear it with his hearing even if he lowered the volume but hes not thinking about that.]

Oh I can?

[Just like a dog given permission to jump on a couch, zack quickly puts the bowl back on the coffee table and is on the couch in moments. He moves over to Leon and so easily lifts the man as if he's weightless before putting him into his lap and hugging his waist.]

Nice and toasty right?? If you get sleepy you can fall asleep on me here. I don't mind at all

[there is zero personal space between them on this couch as Zack lays his head on Leons shoulder and grabs the remote to turn the tv on.]

[needsabreak]

Hide behind a pillow? [Leon asks, surprised. He thought he was bad about that kind of thing. He tended to get bashful and flustered when talking about the specifics of sex but he was pretty good otherwise. It's still rare for him to come across someone more shy about this kind of thing than he was.] I dunno. Some of the scenes can be kind of funny with how corny they are. And... well... sometimes some of the stuff can be kind of hot, too.

[He shrugs a little.

He can't help a soft laugh as Zack practically dives onto the couch though he immediately stops and goes stiff as he's lifted up suddenly and deposited on the man's lap. He's beet red when he finally finds his voice.] Uh... are you sure this is... comfortable for you?

[Still blushing furiously, he slowly relaxes, letting himself lean back and against Zack, feeling his warmth radiating through his back pleasantly.] This show's pretty ridiculous. The contestants are trying to win a date with the mystery person and they have to do a bunch of weird stuff.

[He turns his head slightly as he explains, their faces suddenly very close with Zack resting against his shoulder.] Which reminds me... you, uh... you promised me a kiss. [His face is burning again, cheeks and ears red and hot.]

[1stclasspuppy]

It's totally fine! I'm really comfy actually, are you Leon? [Zack's honestly feeling better than he has since hes got here right now. Having someone in his arms just feels right. Since he put Leon in his lap he's felt butterflies in his stomach in the best of ways and has just been focusing on having that presence and warm scent surrounding him.]You're comfy.

[He focuses on the tv for a bit as they sit thwre and make small talk. The show actually isn't bad and kind of funny. He's invested already into it when Leon turns to look at him. He looks back, eyes glowing a little as he remembers he did say he'd do that over text.] oh..yeah um...yeah....we can.

[They are close, faces close enough for it but Zack pulls back a bit so he can lean more over Leon and look into his eyes. His own cheeks go a bit pink as his thumb presses down on Leon's chin, bringing him a little closer. He looks directly at those lips before him for a moment,taking a breath before he closes the distance and presses his lips against Leon's in a sweet kiss. His eyes close and his hand is still on the man's chin. It's not a bad kiss, hes had experience with kisses, its soft and sweet much like Zack.]

[needsabreak]

Yeah, I'm good. As long as I'm not too heavy. [But if Zack is good, he's good.

He catches the faint blush, still glowing himself but Zack leans in slightly, so he tilts his head for a better angle. He lets Zack lead, closing his eyes as their lips meet. It's slow and sweet, Zack's lips soft against his. He lets this kiss linger a moment longerbefore tilting his head slightly to rest his forehead against Zack's.

That had been very... feelings-ful and it leaves him conflicted, their initial conversation with Rude replaying in his mind.]

That was nice. You are a good kisser. [His voice is quiet, the words practically murmured against Zack's lips.] But I... I want... [He pauses, collects his thoughts, then tries again.] You should know, before we go any further, I'm not looking for anything more than friends with benefits. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Zack. And I don't want to hurt you. If that's not okay, we can just hang out, y'know? [He searches Zack's eyes as he speaks, watching for flickers of emotion, needing to see how he'll react.]

[1stclasspuppy]

[The kiss has him grinning when Leon pulls away. He kind of wanted to kiss a bit more but he's content with that, they can totally kiss more right? He hopes so anyway.] It was really good.

[Zack's happy to press his forehead against Leon's noses touching and his toes curling a little bit as he's assaulted with butterflies in his stomach at how nice this is. He really needs to kiss his friends more often, that's what he's taking from this.] You're soft Leon. [The man sort of feels a bit like a cozy teddy bear in his arms and he gives a squeeze, enjoying the short soft moment that he'll wish could last longer.]

[When Leon looks at him his happy almost dreamy expressions falters. Leon just wants to be friends who fuck is what he's hearing. He's sure that works for others but he wants to be more than that, not right now but to hear any possibility of more in the future be crushed so quickly has him pouting as he pulls back, his grip on Leon nearly nonexistent now.]

O-Oh...I thought...I mean... okay. [Leon had just said he liked the kiss so why would he say that now? Had he been lying and just been nice that maybe it wasn't good enough? Zack doesn't know but takes a moment to bring back his smile, just not as bright as it was before.] If that's what you want then I'll respect your wishes. We can just be friends then.

[He's not sure if he should have Leon in his arms now. He knows he used to sit like this with Angeal rarely so it might still be okay but maybe it's too much for Leon now.]

Ah...should we maybe um...do you want to sit at the other end of the couch instead? Is this still okay?

[needsabreak]

[It feels like he's just kicked a puppy. It hurts to see the way Zack seems to crumble, but that only makes him feel like he's made the tough but correct decision of saying something now.]

I'm sorry, Zack. I just... I can't. I can't do that. Not here. Not when people don't have control over themselves half the time and disappear without warning. I just... can't. [Whether he's actually succeeding at that is another story entirely.

Tilting his head he gives Zack a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth apologetically.]

I'm good with whatever you're okay doing. [He gives his shoulder a squeeze, a fat more 'friendly' gesture. Just friends. Yep.]

[1stclasspuppy]

[All of Leon's words make sense to him but yet he still can't help but feel kind of sad that they have to make this choice between the two. Their conversation with rude had made him hopeful that he could still find love in a world like this, he thought it would be even easier here but maybe he was wrong.]

No it's okay. I get it I think. I don't think I could do the benefits part really. I don't want things to be meaningless. I spent so many years not telling people how much I loved them or what they meant to me but I see it now and I don't want to waste something so intimate just to fulfill a task, even if it gets me in trouble.

[The kiss to his cheek doesn't really help but he does keep his faded smile up and doesn't go back to holding Leon either but he also doesn't move him from his lap.]

You can stay here if you like. I won't do anything I promise but could you maybe pass me the bowl of chips over there?