[Zack's awake and the realization is quickly dawning on him at what they did, are doing. He had told Leon he wouldn't want anything more, they both want two different things and yet here he is practically abusing his friend in his eyes.
Leon's soft mumble pulls at his heart strings as he goes along with it only for Leon. He holds him tighter, breaking their kiss to instead hide his face against the crook of Leon's neck. He feels so bad he can't stop the shaky tremble of his voice as he holds Leon and keeps rubbing against him to try and get him off as recompense for what he did.]
[There's no missing that tremble in Zack's voice. His instinctive response is to wrap an arm around him to pull him into a firmer embrace, turning his head slightly to nuzzle into his hair. His brain finally catches up to his instinct and he hesitates.]
Hey, you good? [His own voice is soft, concerned. He's stilled aside from running his fingers through Zack's hair. He shifts slightly, trying to move so he can look Zack in the face.]
[Zack doesn't answer at first, instead just shaking his head in a no that hes not okay. He doesn't want Leon to see his face now, doesn't want to show his tear rimmed eyes.
With the climax faded, Zack is thinking more clearly and it pains him that he did this. He hides his face further and doesnt come out.]
I didn't want to be a fling! I like you Leon, I like you a lot. I didn't...I promised I wouldn't...and yet....
[He pulls back to rub at his eyes and looks at Leon directly, looking like he might break down into tears at any moment.]
[Zack's silence speaks volumes and, once he tries to bury his face again, he doesn't force it, holding him and waiting.]
It's not- [He sighs, unsure how to explain things, how to explain himself, or this.] No, I'm sorry. I thought you were into it.
But it's not like we're just going to do this and then I'll disappear, y'know? Unless the city has other plans for me, I'm not planning on going anywhere.
It's not like a one-night stand or anything.
[He's not sure anything he's saying, trying to say, is helping at all, but when Zack shifts so he can look into his face, he gets an uncomfortable lump in his throat. He shakes his head, hating seeing Zack like this.] You don't have anything to apologize for.
We can pretend this didn't happen if you want. Or... not. I don't know. I don't know, Zack. I don't know how to make this better.
A one night stand would mean we have sex and then never speak to one another again.
And it's not you. I don't want to date anyone here. Forming a relationship here... I just don't think it's a good idea. I know you have your reasons to want to do it, but I have my reasons for not wanting to.
[He tries to disentangle himself from Zack a little, sliding off of him and letting him go so he can sit on the bed and look at Zack instead of holding him while straddling him.]
I don't understand it either, honestly. What's the big deal if we're good friends and sometimes sleep with one another? What's the difference? You can still romance someone. That someone just doesn't have to be me.
[Zack lets go of Leon easily and turns to his side instead. He pulls some of the blankets to cover himself up, feeling a bit too exposed right now.]
I want to sleep with someone who likes me...maybe even loves me. I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't. It's special to me...I know it's stupid in this place to think it special but I can't change how I feel about it.
[He scratches a hand over the back of his head before dragging it forward and rubbing it over his face.]
I know, I know. [He grumbles, trying not to sound too frustrated.] You say that like I don't even like you or something.
[He gets up, needing to put more space between them for a minute. Maybe they both needed that, maybe not, but he heads for the bathroom, closing the door gently so he can wash his face with some cold water, shrugging off the last lingering inklings of desire and heat that had built up. He's only gone for a moment, half a minute at most, before he comes back out of the bathroom.]
Seems like I should get out of here. [He offers, looking Zack over.]
[Zack can't look at Leon right now, not cause of what Leon's done. Instead he just stays in the bed while Leon heads to the bathroom. He doesn't really say much else and when Leon walks back out he just watches him for a moment and still doesn't move.
It's when Leon is about to leave that he gets up, throwing the blankets off him as he runs after Leon and grabs him from behind.]
I think...maybe space might be good but not right this moment.
[He holds Leon a little tighter, his hands holding onto Leon's own hand. He so badly just wants to just stay like this and get to give Leon the affection he deserves but he won't push. Leon drew a line and he will follow it, though sadly.]
You're leaving though right now...I guess I can't keep you longer, you aren't my contract...we're just friends.
[He lets go of Leon and takes a step back then. He sighs and puts on a smile for Leon even if he rather not at the moment.]
C'mon, you wouldn't use your contract to force me to stay either if we had one.
I... I can stick around for a bit if you really want. I just thought you'd like... [He pauses, feeling like he sounds like a broken record.]- some space. Some time to clean up.
[Leon isn't buying the smile, turning to look at Zack with a sigh as he crosses his arms.] Did you... wanna clean up while I make some breakfast? And coffee. I could use some coffee.
[He nods, heading toward the kitchen. He washes his hands before starting to poke around, finding the waffles and some syrup and the coffee grounds. He can work with this.
It only takes a few minutes to get everything close to ready, so he goes hunting for the dishes.]
[Zack takes a bit in the shower. He really does scrub himself clean and let the tears fall now that he's alone. By the time he comes out of the shower the breakfast is made and he can smell it. He rubs his hair on a towel, fluffing it up but still dripping a little and pieces clinging to his face as he puts on a pair of loose pants and one of his tight fitting meme shirts, this one is of three raccoons.]
It smells really good.
[He comes out of the shower, still a little damp and clothes sticking to him in places. He wants to go up to Leon and hug him tenderly from behind, kiss his cheek and be sweet but he doesn't, instead unsure what he should do exactly.]
[Strangely, Leon is sort of expecting a kiss to the back of his neck, maybe for Zack to wrap his arms loosely around him and rest his chin on his shoulder. Something. So, it feels strange when he keeps his distance. Strange but completely understandable.]
Hopefully, it tastes good. I don't do waffles much.
[He turns, two plates loaded up. His gaze briefly grazes down Zack's chest where the shirt clings to him like a second skin. He just hopes his quick glance hadn't been too obvious.] You got syrup? Butter?
[In the meantime, he walks over to the table and sets the plates down, sinking down onto one of the chairs.]
[Zack doesn't notice the glance and just goes to grab some syrup and butter for the table. He sits down and starts to eat his waffles, dumping more syrup then butter on his own.]
Thanks again, I usually burn these.
[He looks like he wants to say more but he doesn't. To Zack though he does want to say how nice it was to kiss those lips. He might stare a little at Leon's lips as he eats, a faint blush on his face.]
Yeah? [He slaps some butter on the waffles so it'll start to melt before they get too cool before drizzling a bit of syrup over them.]
I'm usually a bacon and eggs guy myself. Or sausages. [He adds the last bit as he shoves a forkful of waffle into his mouth, talking around the food before starting to chew.]
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 01:50 pm (UTC)Leon's soft mumble pulls at his heart strings as he goes along with it only for Leon. He holds him tighter, breaking their kiss to instead hide his face against the crook of Leon's neck. He feels so bad he can't stop the shaky tremble of his voice as he holds Leon and keeps rubbing against him to try and get him off as recompense for what he did.]
I-I...I'm here Leon....I'm here...
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 04:04 am (UTC)Hey, you good? [His own voice is soft, concerned. He's stilled aside from running his fingers through Zack's hair. He shifts slightly, trying to move so he can look Zack in the face.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 06:06 am (UTC)With the climax faded, Zack is thinking more clearly and it pains him that he did this. He hides his face further and doesnt come out.]
I didn't want to be a fling! I like you Leon, I like you a lot. I didn't...I promised I wouldn't...and yet....
[He pulls back to rub at his eyes and looks at Leon directly, looking like he might break down into tears at any moment.]
I'm so sorry.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 07:35 am (UTC)It's not- [He sighs, unsure how to explain things, how to explain himself, or this.] No, I'm sorry. I thought you were into it.
But it's not like we're just going to do this and then I'll disappear, y'know? Unless the city has other plans for me, I'm not planning on going anywhere.
It's not like a one-night stand or anything.
[He's not sure anything he's saying, trying to say, is helping at all, but when Zack shifts so he can look into his face, he gets an uncomfortable lump in his throat. He shakes his head, hating seeing Zack like this.] You don't have anything to apologize for.
We can pretend this didn't happen if you want. Or... not. I don't know. I don't know, Zack. I don't know how to make this better.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-10 10:39 am (UTC)[It pains him to think that this is probably all hes ever gong to get with Leon, a dream of what he could have.]
I...I know you aren't going anywhere but you said you didn't want to date me. How is that not a one night stand?
[He's trying so hard not to have those tears welling up in his eyes fall.]
I dont...I don't understand it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 04:51 am (UTC)And it's not you. I don't want to date anyone here. Forming a relationship here... I just don't think it's a good idea. I know you have your reasons to want to do it, but I have my reasons for not wanting to.
[He tries to disentangle himself from Zack a little, sliding off of him and letting him go so he can sit on the bed and look at Zack instead of holding him while straddling him.]
I don't understand it either, honestly. What's the big deal if we're good friends and sometimes sleep with one another? What's the difference? You can still romance someone. That someone just doesn't have to be me.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 02:26 pm (UTC)I want to sleep with someone who likes me...maybe even loves me. I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't. It's special to me...I know it's stupid in this place to think it special but I can't change how I feel about it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-12 05:54 am (UTC)I know, I know. [He grumbles, trying not to sound too frustrated.] You say that like I don't even like you or something.
[He gets up, needing to put more space between them for a minute. Maybe they both needed that, maybe not, but he heads for the bathroom, closing the door gently so he can wash his face with some cold water, shrugging off the last lingering inklings of desire and heat that had built up. He's only gone for a moment, half a minute at most, before he comes back out of the bathroom.]
Seems like I should get out of here. [He offers, looking Zack over.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 01:22 pm (UTC)[Zack can't look at Leon right now, not cause of what Leon's done. Instead he just stays in the bed while Leon heads to the bathroom. He doesn't really say much else and when Leon walks back out he just watches him for a moment and still doesn't move.
It's when Leon is about to leave that he gets up, throwing the blankets off him as he runs after Leon and grabs him from behind.]
Wait...can we...we're still friends right?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-15 07:53 am (UTC)Huh? Yeah. Zack... yeah, man. [He puts his hand over Zack's arm, giving him a reassuring pat.] Just seemed like you could use some space.
I told you, I wasn't planning on disappearing on you.
I'm sure we'll hang out soon. And... Zack... I just... - try not to beat yourself up about this, ok?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-15 03:50 pm (UTC)[He holds Leon a little tighter, his hands holding onto Leon's own hand. He so badly just wants to just stay like this and get to give Leon the affection he deserves but he won't push. Leon drew a line and he will follow it, though sadly.]
You're leaving though right now...I guess I can't keep you longer, you aren't my contract...we're just friends.
[He lets go of Leon and takes a step back then. He sighs and puts on a smile for Leon even if he rather not at the moment.]
I won't beat myself up...promise.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-16 07:11 am (UTC)I... I can stick around for a bit if you really want. I just thought you'd like... [He pauses, feeling like he sounds like a broken record.]- some space. Some time to clean up.
[Leon isn't buying the smile, turning to look at Zack with a sigh as he crosses his arms.] Did you... wanna clean up while I make some breakfast? And coffee. I could use some coffee.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-16 10:55 am (UTC)[He's a little sad that Leon thinks he'd stoop so low. His smile does fade a little and he looks towards the bathroom.]
I can wash up. I don't have many ingredients but I do have waffles. I bought some coffee too if you want.
[He is a little glad the coffee will get use. He bought it for others and not himself.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 05:29 am (UTC)[He nods, heading toward the kitchen. He washes his hands before starting to poke around, finding the waffles and some syrup and the coffee grounds. He can work with this.
It only takes a few minutes to get everything close to ready, so he goes hunting for the dishes.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 02:16 pm (UTC)It smells really good.
[He comes out of the shower, still a little damp and clothes sticking to him in places. He wants to go up to Leon and hug him tenderly from behind, kiss his cheek and be sweet but he doesn't, instead unsure what he should do exactly.]
Thank you Leon.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-18 01:10 am (UTC)Hopefully, it tastes good. I don't do waffles much.
[He turns, two plates loaded up. His gaze briefly grazes down Zack's chest where the shirt clings to him like a second skin. He just hopes his quick glance hadn't been too obvious.] You got syrup? Butter?
[In the meantime, he walks over to the table and sets the plates down, sinking down onto one of the chairs.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-18 12:52 pm (UTC)Thanks again, I usually burn these.
[He looks like he wants to say more but he doesn't. To Zack though he does want to say how nice it was to kiss those lips. He might stare a little at Leon's lips as he eats, a faint blush on his face.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 03:05 am (UTC)I'm usually a bacon and eggs guy myself. Or sausages. [He adds the last bit as he shoves a forkful of waffle into his mouth, talking around the food before starting to chew.]