[Zack's laughter and smiles have always been contagious and it seems Leon isn't immune to them either. Zack's glad for that, he would feel awful if Leon didn't smile more and he's happy to get another beautiful smile out of the man.]
Alright, I'll keep it low and watch over you okay? [He turns the tv on, getting comfortable with Leon at his side and even leans a bit to place a kiss on the top of his head as he focuses on the random show and not at the handsome man in his arms currently.
Zack keeps his promise and stays up, not really getting too tired and focused on the show and Leon's breathing. The snoring is adorable and he keeps trying to focus more on the show. The man doesn't want anything extra with him, he's trying not to get a little attached but it's okay if they are friends right? Holding a friend who needs comfort isn't always romantic, he just has to keep reminding himself that.
With Leon almost hugging him in his sleep, Zack goes a little stiff for a moment, caught off guard but he quickly melts into the touch and just smiles, looking down at the sleeping man in his arms.]
Sweet dreams Leon
[He gives him a little bit of a squeeze before he adjusts the blankets on them more and shifts a bit so he can fully hold the other man, cuddling him like he's wanted to since he woke up from that nightmare.]
[When Leon wakes again, the room is just starting to get light, the TV off. He's lying on his side, still half asleep, warm, pressed close to someone else. He ends up closing his eyes and nodding off again, too comfortable to wake up just yet. But when he stirs again, he can feel it, hard, pressing insistently against his ass. Not quite awake yet, he smirks faintly in the early morning glow, arching slightly to roll his hips back, grinding his ass shamelessly back against Zack.
He's not quite awake enough yet to realize who is pressed up against him, but he sleepily reaches behind him to gently palm him through his pajamas. Part of him likely assumes its Hermes. They're big, the cock heavy in his hand as he teases him.
He makes a quiet noise before shifting, pressing his back more fully against their chest and pulling their arm around him, wanting to feel more snuggly held against them. At this point, he's half hard too but he doesn't want to bother his partner any more, they'll both be ready to wake up eventually.
[ Zack was actually able to keep his promise for almost the entire night that he wouldn't fall asleep on Leon. It was only in the last half hour or so that sleep finally took him. The tv's white noise mixed with Leon's soft breathing and weight against him finally did him in as he had turned to his side and was sort of spooning the other man.
He's been out enough for his own dream and it is the first one since he's come to duplicity that doesn't have him feeling sad. Instead he dreams of Aerith and her flowers in the church. The light shines through the cracks in the roof, illuminating Aerith as if she were a heavenly angel. She smiles at him, a look that looks far too knowing and one he was never really able to read. She points at the door behind her and Zack's attention turns there. It's Leon walking in. The two of them talk and Zack can't help but think Leon seems to fit so well in this broken down holy place that others have forgotten. Aerith leads Leon to the flowers and places one on his head. Zack can't hear what they are talking about but he does see Leon look at him and smile and his heart feels like he skips a beat. It's a bigger smile than he's seen on the man and he starts to walk towards him and Zack waits with open arms. He hugs Leon and in his sleep gives the man a squeeze as well.
With Leon moving closer to him and starting to rub against him, Zack's dream starts to get spicier too. Leon's kissing him again like he did before, those soft lips against his are so much better than he thought any mans lips would ever be against his. He feels amazing and Zack holds him tighter in the embrace of the dream.
He shifted at some point, moreso spooning Leon from behind and with kiss in his dream, Zack's moving his head to nuzzle against Leon's neck. A bit of skin is exposed there and his lips brush against it, leaving the sleepiest of kisses there as he mumbles in his sleep.
The dream turns heavier as Leon starts to rub against him. In his dream Leon is rubbing him through his pants, asking for more, wanting to feel Zack's affections. It has the man practically dry humping Leon in his sleep. His grip keeps him in place as his hard big cock keeps rubbing against Leon's ass and back. ]
[Leon's somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness, dozing but aware. So, when Zack presses his hips forward, he stirs immediately. A bit of shifting is expected, but the first bump or two becomes outright grinding. He's so hard, despite the fabric between them, he slips just right between his cheeks, leaving nothing to the imagination. Leon doesn't help, arching his back to press back against him, rolling his hips to help Zack hump against him. He's hard too by now and slowly becoming more awake.]
Zack. [His voice is soft, barely a breathy whispered exhale. He's got to be awake, too, right? At least that's his assumption.
He moves Zack's hand lower, wanting to be touched as Zack practically fucks him through their clothes. He reaches behind him, cupping the bulge in Zack's pajamas to massage his balls as he works his cock against him.]
[Zack acfually isn't awake and very deeply still in his dream. His thrustinf starts to slow down a little, still hard but slower and much more tired. The hand at Leon's waist does move lower with his help, gently cupping Leon's clothed cock. He's drooling a little in his sleep, the wetness dripping from his mouth onto Leon's neck.
The dream is going fine until he hears his name. It does start to wake him a little but Zack's stuck trying to tell dream from reality. Leon in his dream starts to darken, the sunlight from before no longer shining on him. He says something that Zack can't hear but it hurts all the same. He feels like he might cry.
In his sleep Zack's thrusting starts to stop as he actually whimpers, his grip on Leon tightens as if afraid to let go. He even mumbles once more in his sleep, inbetween the whimpering.]
Jesus, Zack. [He mumbles as Zack rubs and thrusts against his back. He's definitely hard now and Zack's hand feels good but nowhere near good enough. But then he slows and stops, the whole thing has him confused, especially as he tries to figure out what Zack is saying.]
Zack... I'm not going anywhere. [He starts to reassure him but the whimpers strike him as strange and it's only then that it hits him that Zack is the one having a dream now.
He turns in his arms, putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing to try to wake him.] Zack. Zack, wake up. It's alright, you're just dreaming.
[Zack's dream is in no way as traumatic as Leon's but it still makes him sad. He doesn't want Leon leaving him. He liked the kisses and touches, he wants more too but the man doesn't want him and there is nothing he can do about it. It hurts.
The pressure does start to wake him up and his glowing blue eyes do start to open, watery and looking like he might cry. Leon's the first thing he focuses on when his eyes open and he still thinks it's a dream. It's too similar to it for him to think otherwise.]
Leon, please don't hate me. I like you.
[He really does look like he might start crying and he pulls the man closer and kisses him deeply, better than the previous kiss they shared. He keeps an arm around that waist, and a hand in Leon's short hair as he presses against him, facing each other has their cocks rubbing.]
Hey. [Leon offers as he sees Zack's eyes open. He doesn't exactly smile but his expression softens, obviously glad that he's awake and getting his bearings.]
It's okay. I don't hate you. You were just dreaming. [He tries to reassure him, carding his fingers through Zack's hair.
He's a little surprised when Zack pulls him into a kiss. He definitely doesn't resist, leaning eagerly into the kiss with a soft groan. Pushing closer, he slips his hand up Zack's chest. Their hips flush together, he shifts to ease his leg between Zack's, thigh offering him something to grind against.]
[Leon sort of gives a warning but Zack doesn't head it and instead he leans into the touches and feel of everything. He's still partially asleep and thinking this isn't real anyway. He can indulge in a dream and Leon feels so good. It's better then anything he's ever felt to have Leon in his arms, maybe even nice then Aerith but he doesn't let that thought linger much.]
Leon...
[That hand is warm as it sneaks under his shirt and Zack breaks the kiss to take it off, pulling it over his head and then his lips go to seek Leon's once more, so eager to taste him once more. He's moaning into the kiss, as his cock clearly starts to strain against his loose pants. The outline is pretty visible as he rubs it against Leon's offered thigh, his own wrapped tightly around Leon as the kisses deepen into full on tongue. Leon's sweet, so incredibly sweet to Zack that he feels like he almost can't handle it. He needs more, wants more.]
[To be fair to Zack, despite trying to reassure him, he is also being very, very distracting.
He shifts slightly to let Zack tug his shirt off. Leon had worn his boxer-briefs to bed but nothing else and feeling his skin warm against his own is electric. He parts his lips into the kiss, moaning soft and low against Zack's mouth.
Leon can feel him pushing and grinding up against him, so he snakes his other hand between them, cupping and then practically stroking him through the loose pants. He doesn't tease for long, easily slipping his fingers under the waist band of his pants, loosely wrapping his hand around his shaft to start stroking him, giving Zack more to thrust against.]
Edited (gdi, can you tell I'm on my phone =_=) Date: 2023-11-29 07:25 pm (UTC)
[In what Zack thinks is still a dream, he keeps rubbing and thrusting against Leon to get some kind of pleasurable friction still going between them. He's had wet dreams before and this feels like one of those but even better so it's not like he doesn't think it's possible either. He's going off instincts cause if he was awake he wouldn't know how to react to this at all and would fumble over every touch. Wet dream Zack is much more capable then conscious awake Zack.]
Ah..ngh...
[He moans into the kisses as those lips part and their tongues meet in a heated dance, trying to touch as much as they can of eachother. His hands trail lower down Leon's back, grapping his butt not to squeeze but to keep him in place as he thrusts against the warm hand in his pants and that leg. He's not sweating but his body feels hot and slowly Zack is starting to come through the haze of his sleep but not enough yet to stop. In facnt he moves quicker, so close to an orgasm already.]
[Leon's back arches as Zack runs his hand down his spine, moaning into the kiss when he gives him a squeeze. The thought crosses his mind, wanting to kiss his way down Zack's chest to finish him off with his mouth. But his desire to taste him will have to wait for some other time; Zack is clinging to him far too tightly.
Leon squeezes him each time he thrusts up through his fingers, pumping his length with each one. The kiss feels needy and hungry, especially as Zack's movements speed up and get more frantic. He groans again into the kiss as he sweeps the pad of his thumb over the head of Zack's cock, feeling how slick he is with precum. Pushing his other hand into Zack's hair, he tugs gently, grinding his own hips down against him.]
[This dream feels so realistic, almost too realistic. His eyes are starting to open more as he continues moving, the pleasure building up and the sounds of their bodies together turning Zack on in a way he's never felt before. He's so hard, so close, so needy. A moan leaves his throat and he hardly recognizes it as his own voice as he looks at Leon with sleepy eyes. Their lips keep touching and he lets the dream continue even if he is more awake now. Leon tastes so good and his hands are soft and different against his cock. It twitches in response so close.
Zack thrusts a few more times, the clarity of being awake quickly hitting him but it's already too late. He's about to climax. His eyes widen and he is about to pull away from Leon but the way the man grinds down against him in return, the way that thumb presses against the head of his cock sends him over and he climaxes hard against Leon's hand and his own pants.
He's panting as the fog takes over his thoughts, actually breathing heavy for once and still rubbing against Leon to get him to climax too. His body works more on it's own instincts then on what Zack thinks he should be doing.]
[Leon seems oblivious to the shift in Zack's lucidity, assuming he'd been awake since he started getting extra handsy. He groans softly as he feels Zack orgasm, making a mess in his hand, and he continues to stroke him firmly through it. He dips his head to kiss Zack along his jaw, sprinkling a few light nips in there as his hand slows.]
Good morning to you, too. [He chuckles before working his way back to Zack's mouth, sucking lightly on his lower lip as he grinds against him. Zack's body meets his and he rolls his hips back into Zack's hand that's still resting lightly on his ass. What he'd give for him to squeeze him again, craving his touch.
He's leaking a spot of precum against his boxer-briefs though, hard and getting closer. He's just not sure if grinding against Zack will do it.]
[Zack's awake and the realization is quickly dawning on him at what they did, are doing. He had told Leon he wouldn't want anything more, they both want two different things and yet here he is practically abusing his friend in his eyes.
Leon's soft mumble pulls at his heart strings as he goes along with it only for Leon. He holds him tighter, breaking their kiss to instead hide his face against the crook of Leon's neck. He feels so bad he can't stop the shaky tremble of his voice as he holds Leon and keeps rubbing against him to try and get him off as recompense for what he did.]
[There's no missing that tremble in Zack's voice. His instinctive response is to wrap an arm around him to pull him into a firmer embrace, turning his head slightly to nuzzle into his hair. His brain finally catches up to his instinct and he hesitates.]
Hey, you good? [His own voice is soft, concerned. He's stilled aside from running his fingers through Zack's hair. He shifts slightly, trying to move so he can look Zack in the face.]
[Zack doesn't answer at first, instead just shaking his head in a no that hes not okay. He doesn't want Leon to see his face now, doesn't want to show his tear rimmed eyes.
With the climax faded, Zack is thinking more clearly and it pains him that he did this. He hides his face further and doesnt come out.]
I didn't want to be a fling! I like you Leon, I like you a lot. I didn't...I promised I wouldn't...and yet....
[He pulls back to rub at his eyes and looks at Leon directly, looking like he might break down into tears at any moment.]
[Zack's silence speaks volumes and, once he tries to bury his face again, he doesn't force it, holding him and waiting.]
It's not- [He sighs, unsure how to explain things, how to explain himself, or this.] No, I'm sorry. I thought you were into it.
But it's not like we're just going to do this and then I'll disappear, y'know? Unless the city has other plans for me, I'm not planning on going anywhere.
It's not like a one-night stand or anything.
[He's not sure anything he's saying, trying to say, is helping at all, but when Zack shifts so he can look into his face, he gets an uncomfortable lump in his throat. He shakes his head, hating seeing Zack like this.] You don't have anything to apologize for.
We can pretend this didn't happen if you want. Or... not. I don't know. I don't know, Zack. I don't know how to make this better.
A one night stand would mean we have sex and then never speak to one another again.
And it's not you. I don't want to date anyone here. Forming a relationship here... I just don't think it's a good idea. I know you have your reasons to want to do it, but I have my reasons for not wanting to.
[He tries to disentangle himself from Zack a little, sliding off of him and letting him go so he can sit on the bed and look at Zack instead of holding him while straddling him.]
I don't understand it either, honestly. What's the big deal if we're good friends and sometimes sleep with one another? What's the difference? You can still romance someone. That someone just doesn't have to be me.
[Zack lets go of Leon easily and turns to his side instead. He pulls some of the blankets to cover himself up, feeling a bit too exposed right now.]
I want to sleep with someone who likes me...maybe even loves me. I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't. It's special to me...I know it's stupid in this place to think it special but I can't change how I feel about it.
[He scratches a hand over the back of his head before dragging it forward and rubbing it over his face.]
I know, I know. [He grumbles, trying not to sound too frustrated.] You say that like I don't even like you or something.
[He gets up, needing to put more space between them for a minute. Maybe they both needed that, maybe not, but he heads for the bathroom, closing the door gently so he can wash his face with some cold water, shrugging off the last lingering inklings of desire and heat that had built up. He's only gone for a moment, half a minute at most, before he comes back out of the bathroom.]
Seems like I should get out of here. [He offers, looking Zack over.]
[Zack can't look at Leon right now, not cause of what Leon's done. Instead he just stays in the bed while Leon heads to the bathroom. He doesn't really say much else and when Leon walks back out he just watches him for a moment and still doesn't move.
It's when Leon is about to leave that he gets up, throwing the blankets off him as he runs after Leon and grabs him from behind.]
I think...maybe space might be good but not right this moment.
[He holds Leon a little tighter, his hands holding onto Leon's own hand. He so badly just wants to just stay like this and get to give Leon the affection he deserves but he won't push. Leon drew a line and he will follow it, though sadly.]
You're leaving though right now...I guess I can't keep you longer, you aren't my contract...we're just friends.
[He lets go of Leon and takes a step back then. He sighs and puts on a smile for Leon even if he rather not at the moment.]
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2023-11-22 01:15 pm (UTC)Alright, I'll keep it low and watch over you okay? [He turns the tv on, getting comfortable with Leon at his side and even leans a bit to place a kiss on the top of his head as he focuses on the random show and not at the handsome man in his arms currently.
Zack keeps his promise and stays up, not really getting too tired and focused on the show and Leon's breathing. The snoring is adorable and he keeps trying to focus more on the show. The man doesn't want anything extra with him, he's trying not to get a little attached but it's okay if they are friends right? Holding a friend who needs comfort isn't always romantic, he just has to keep reminding himself that.
With Leon almost hugging him in his sleep, Zack goes a little stiff for a moment, caught off guard but he quickly melts into the touch and just smiles, looking down at the sleeping man in his arms.]
Sweet dreams Leon
[He gives him a little bit of a squeeze before he adjusts the blankets on them more and shifts a bit so he can fully hold the other man, cuddling him like he's wanted to since he woke up from that nightmare.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-24 07:41 am (UTC)He's not quite awake enough yet to realize who is pressed up against him, but he sleepily reaches behind him to gently palm him through his pajamas. Part of him likely assumes its Hermes. They're big, the cock heavy in his hand as he teases him.
He makes a quiet noise before shifting, pressing his back more fully against their chest and pulling their arm around him, wanting to feel more snuggly held against them. At this point, he's half hard too but he doesn't want to bother his partner any more, they'll both be ready to wake up eventually.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-24 03:25 pm (UTC)He's been out enough for his own dream and it is the first one since he's come to duplicity that doesn't have him feeling sad. Instead he dreams of Aerith and her flowers in the church. The light shines through the cracks in the roof, illuminating Aerith as if she were a heavenly angel. She smiles at him, a look that looks far too knowing and one he was never really able to read. She points at the door behind her and Zack's attention turns there. It's Leon walking in. The two of them talk and Zack can't help but think Leon seems to fit so well in this broken down holy place that others have forgotten. Aerith leads Leon to the flowers and places one on his head. Zack can't hear what they are talking about but he does see Leon look at him and smile and his heart feels like he skips a beat. It's a bigger smile than he's seen on the man and he starts to walk towards him and Zack waits with open arms. He hugs Leon and in his sleep gives the man a squeeze as well.
With Leon moving closer to him and starting to rub against him, Zack's dream starts to get spicier too. Leon's kissing him again like he did before, those soft lips against his are so much better than he thought any mans lips would ever be against his. He feels amazing and Zack holds him tighter in the embrace of the dream.
He shifted at some point, moreso spooning Leon from behind and with kiss in his dream, Zack's moving his head to nuzzle against Leon's neck. A bit of skin is exposed there and his lips brush against it, leaving the sleepiest of kisses there as he mumbles in his sleep.
The dream turns heavier as Leon starts to rub against him. In his dream Leon is rubbing him through his pants, asking for more, wanting to feel Zack's affections. It has the man practically dry humping Leon in his sleep. His grip keeps him in place as his hard big cock keeps rubbing against Leon's ass and back. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-24 09:08 pm (UTC)Zack. [His voice is soft, barely a breathy whispered exhale. He's got to be awake, too, right? At least that's his assumption.
He moves Zack's hand lower, wanting to be touched as Zack practically fucks him through their clothes. He reaches behind him, cupping the bulge in Zack's pajamas to massage his balls as he works his cock against him.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-25 09:08 am (UTC)The dream is going fine until he hears his name. It does start to wake him a little but Zack's stuck trying to tell dream from reality. Leon in his dream starts to darken, the sunlight from before no longer shining on him. He says something that Zack can't hear but it hurts all the same. He feels like he might cry.
In his sleep Zack's thrusting starts to stop as he actually whimpers, his grip on Leon tightens as if afraid to let go. He even mumbles once more in his sleep, inbetween the whimpering.]
N-no....stay....le-...
no subject
Date: 2023-11-26 08:45 am (UTC)Zack... I'm not going anywhere. [He starts to reassure him but the whimpers strike him as strange and it's only then that it hits him that Zack is the one having a dream now.
He turns in his arms, putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing to try to wake him.] Zack. Zack, wake up. It's alright, you're just dreaming.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-26 01:11 pm (UTC)The pressure does start to wake him up and his glowing blue eyes do start to open, watery and looking like he might cry. Leon's the first thing he focuses on when his eyes open and he still thinks it's a dream. It's too similar to it for him to think otherwise.]
Leon, please don't hate me. I like you.
[He really does look like he might start crying and he pulls the man closer and kisses him deeply, better than the previous kiss they shared. He keeps an arm around that waist, and a hand in Leon's short hair as he presses against him, facing each other has their cocks rubbing.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-27 07:21 am (UTC)It's okay. I don't hate you. You were just dreaming. [He tries to reassure him, carding his fingers through Zack's hair.
He's a little surprised when Zack pulls him into a kiss. He definitely doesn't resist, leaning eagerly into the kiss with a soft groan. Pushing closer, he slips his hand up Zack's chest. Their hips flush together, he shifts to ease his leg between Zack's, thigh offering him something to grind against.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-27 08:03 pm (UTC)Leon...
[That hand is warm as it sneaks under his shirt and Zack breaks the kiss to take it off, pulling it over his head and then his lips go to seek Leon's once more, so eager to taste him once more. He's moaning into the kiss, as his cock clearly starts to strain against his loose pants. The outline is pretty visible as he rubs it against Leon's offered thigh, his own wrapped tightly around Leon as the kisses deepen into full on tongue. Leon's sweet, so incredibly sweet to Zack that he feels like he almost can't handle it. He needs more, wants more.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-29 07:23 pm (UTC)He shifts slightly to let Zack tug his shirt off. Leon had worn his boxer-briefs to bed but nothing else and feeling his skin warm against his own is electric. He parts his lips into the kiss, moaning soft and low against Zack's mouth.
Leon can feel him pushing and grinding up against him, so he snakes his other hand between them, cupping and then practically stroking him through the loose pants. He doesn't tease for long, easily slipping his fingers under the waist band of his pants, loosely wrapping his hand around his shaft to start stroking him, giving Zack more to thrust against.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-29 07:43 pm (UTC)Ah..ngh...
[He moans into the kisses as those lips part and their tongues meet in a heated dance, trying to touch as much as they can of eachother. His hands trail lower down Leon's back, grapping his butt not to squeeze but to keep him in place as he thrusts against the warm hand in his pants and that leg. He's not sweating but his body feels hot and slowly Zack is starting to come through the haze of his sleep but not enough yet to stop. In facnt he moves quicker, so close to an orgasm already.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-30 07:54 pm (UTC)Leon squeezes him each time he thrusts up through his fingers, pumping his length with each one. The kiss feels needy and hungry, especially as Zack's movements speed up and get more frantic. He groans again into the kiss as he sweeps the pad of his thumb over the head of Zack's cock, feeling how slick he is with precum. Pushing his other hand into Zack's hair, he tugs gently, grinding his own hips down against him.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-05 02:24 am (UTC)Zack thrusts a few more times, the clarity of being awake quickly hitting him but it's already too late. He's about to climax. His eyes widen and he is about to pull away from Leon but the way the man grinds down against him in return, the way that thumb presses against the head of his cock sends him over and he climaxes hard against Leon's hand and his own pants.
He's panting as the fog takes over his thoughts, actually breathing heavy for once and still rubbing against Leon to get him to climax too. His body works more on it's own instincts then on what Zack thinks he should be doing.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 02:35 am (UTC)Good morning to you, too. [He chuckles before working his way back to Zack's mouth, sucking lightly on his lower lip as he grinds against him. Zack's body meets his and he rolls his hips back into Zack's hand that's still resting lightly on his ass. What he'd give for him to squeeze him again, craving his touch.
He's leaking a spot of precum against his boxer-briefs though, hard and getting closer. He's just not sure if grinding against Zack will do it.]
Z... need you... [He mumbles quietly.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-07 01:50 pm (UTC)Leon's soft mumble pulls at his heart strings as he goes along with it only for Leon. He holds him tighter, breaking their kiss to instead hide his face against the crook of Leon's neck. He feels so bad he can't stop the shaky tremble of his voice as he holds Leon and keeps rubbing against him to try and get him off as recompense for what he did.]
I-I...I'm here Leon....I'm here...
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 04:04 am (UTC)Hey, you good? [His own voice is soft, concerned. He's stilled aside from running his fingers through Zack's hair. He shifts slightly, trying to move so he can look Zack in the face.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 06:06 am (UTC)With the climax faded, Zack is thinking more clearly and it pains him that he did this. He hides his face further and doesnt come out.]
I didn't want to be a fling! I like you Leon, I like you a lot. I didn't...I promised I wouldn't...and yet....
[He pulls back to rub at his eyes and looks at Leon directly, looking like he might break down into tears at any moment.]
I'm so sorry.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 07:35 am (UTC)It's not- [He sighs, unsure how to explain things, how to explain himself, or this.] No, I'm sorry. I thought you were into it.
But it's not like we're just going to do this and then I'll disappear, y'know? Unless the city has other plans for me, I'm not planning on going anywhere.
It's not like a one-night stand or anything.
[He's not sure anything he's saying, trying to say, is helping at all, but when Zack shifts so he can look into his face, he gets an uncomfortable lump in his throat. He shakes his head, hating seeing Zack like this.] You don't have anything to apologize for.
We can pretend this didn't happen if you want. Or... not. I don't know. I don't know, Zack. I don't know how to make this better.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-10 10:39 am (UTC)[It pains him to think that this is probably all hes ever gong to get with Leon, a dream of what he could have.]
I...I know you aren't going anywhere but you said you didn't want to date me. How is that not a one night stand?
[He's trying so hard not to have those tears welling up in his eyes fall.]
I dont...I don't understand it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 04:51 am (UTC)And it's not you. I don't want to date anyone here. Forming a relationship here... I just don't think it's a good idea. I know you have your reasons to want to do it, but I have my reasons for not wanting to.
[He tries to disentangle himself from Zack a little, sliding off of him and letting him go so he can sit on the bed and look at Zack instead of holding him while straddling him.]
I don't understand it either, honestly. What's the big deal if we're good friends and sometimes sleep with one another? What's the difference? You can still romance someone. That someone just doesn't have to be me.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 02:26 pm (UTC)I want to sleep with someone who likes me...maybe even loves me. I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't. It's special to me...I know it's stupid in this place to think it special but I can't change how I feel about it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-12 05:54 am (UTC)I know, I know. [He grumbles, trying not to sound too frustrated.] You say that like I don't even like you or something.
[He gets up, needing to put more space between them for a minute. Maybe they both needed that, maybe not, but he heads for the bathroom, closing the door gently so he can wash his face with some cold water, shrugging off the last lingering inklings of desire and heat that had built up. He's only gone for a moment, half a minute at most, before he comes back out of the bathroom.]
Seems like I should get out of here. [He offers, looking Zack over.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-13 01:22 pm (UTC)[Zack can't look at Leon right now, not cause of what Leon's done. Instead he just stays in the bed while Leon heads to the bathroom. He doesn't really say much else and when Leon walks back out he just watches him for a moment and still doesn't move.
It's when Leon is about to leave that he gets up, throwing the blankets off him as he runs after Leon and grabs him from behind.]
Wait...can we...we're still friends right?
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Date: 2023-12-15 07:53 am (UTC)Huh? Yeah. Zack... yeah, man. [He puts his hand over Zack's arm, giving him a reassuring pat.] Just seemed like you could use some space.
I told you, I wasn't planning on disappearing on you.
I'm sure we'll hang out soon. And... Zack... I just... - try not to beat yourself up about this, ok?
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Date: 2023-12-15 03:50 pm (UTC)[He holds Leon a little tighter, his hands holding onto Leon's own hand. He so badly just wants to just stay like this and get to give Leon the affection he deserves but he won't push. Leon drew a line and he will follow it, though sadly.]
You're leaving though right now...I guess I can't keep you longer, you aren't my contract...we're just friends.
[He lets go of Leon and takes a step back then. He sighs and puts on a smile for Leon even if he rather not at the moment.]
I won't beat myself up...promise.
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