Yeah, I'm good. As long as I'm not too heavy. [But if Zack is good, he's good.
He catches the faint blush, still glowing himself but Zack leans in slightly, so he tilts his head for a better angle. He lets Zack lead, closing his eyes as their lips meet. It's slow and sweet, Zack's lips soft against his. He lets this kiss linger a moment longerbefore tilting his head slightly to rest his forehead against Zack's.
That had been very... feelings-ful and it leaves him conflicted, their initial conversation with Rude replaying in his mind.]
That was nice. You are a good kisser. [His voice is quiet, the words practically murmured against Zack's lips.] But I... I want... [He pauses, collects his thoughts, then tries again.] You should know, before we go any further, I'm not looking for anything more than friends with benefits. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Zack. And I don't want to hurt you. If that's not okay, we can just hang out, y'know? [He searches Zack's eyes as he speaks, watching for flickers of emotion, needing to see how he'll react.]
[The kiss has him grinning when Leon pulls away. He kind of wanted to kiss a bit more but he's content with that, they can totally kiss more right? He hopes so anyway.] It was really good.
[Zack's happy to press his forehead against Leon's noses touching and his toes curling a little bit as he's assaulted with butterflies in his stomach at how nice this is. He really needs to kiss his friends more often, that's what he's taking from this.] You're soft Leon. [The man sort of feels a bit like a cozy teddy bear in his arms and he gives a squeeze, enjoying the short soft moment that he'll wish could last longer.]
[When Leon looks at him his happy almost dreamy expressions falters. Leon just wants to be friends who fuck is what he's hearing. He's sure that works for others but he wants to be more than that, not right now but to hear any possibility of more in the future be crushed so quickly has him pouting as he pulls back, his grip on Leon nearly nonexistent now.]
O-Oh...I thought...I mean... okay. [Leon had just said he liked the kiss so why would he say that now? Had he been lying and just been nice that maybe it wasn't good enough? Zack doesn't know but takes a moment to bring back his smile, just not as bright as it was before.] If that's what you want then I'll respect your wishes. We can just be friends then.
[He's not sure if he should have Leon in his arms now. He knows he used to sit like this with Angeal rarely so it might still be okay but maybe it's too much for Leon now.]
Ah...should we maybe um...do you want to sit at the other end of the couch instead? Is this still okay?
[It feels like he's just kicked a puppy. It hurts to see the way Zack seems to crumble, but that only makes him feel like he's made the tough but correct decision of saying something now.]
I'm sorry, Zack. I just... I can't. I can't do that. Not here. Not when people don't have control over themselves half the time and disappear without warning. I just... can't. [Whether he's actually succeeding at that is another story entirely.
Tilting his head he gives Zack a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth apologetically.]
I'm good with whatever you're okay doing. [He gives his shoulder a squeeze, a fat more 'friendly' gesture. Just friends. Yep.]
[All of Leon's words make sense to him but yet he still can't help but feel kind of sad that they have to make this choice between the two. Their conversation with rude had made him hopeful that he could still find love in a world like this, he thought it would be even easier here but maybe he was wrong.]
No it's okay. I get it I think. I don't think I could do the benefits part really. I don't want things to be meaningless. I spent so many years not telling people how much I loved them or what they meant to me but I see it now and I don't want to waste something so intimate just to fulfill a task, even if it gets me in trouble.
[The kiss to his cheek doesn't really help but he does keep his faded smile up and doesn't go back to holding Leon either but he also doesn't move him from his lap.]
You can stay here if you like. I won't do anything I promise but could you maybe pass me the bowl of chips over there?
[ He does lean forward and snags the bowl, passing it Zack.] Here, this might be more comfortable and you'll be able to see better.
[Leon slides off his lap and nestles in beside him pressed into his side, his head leaning against his chest.] This okay?
[He looks reluctant to bring up what he's about to bring up but Zack's comment about getting in trouble has him worried again.] Zack... speaking from experience... you do not want to end up in jail here.
Please, if you think you might not make quota please, please consider getting help from someone. It doesn't have to be me but I am willing to help. As long as it's someone.
[Zack takes the bowl and distracts himself by munching on the chips, not really wanting to have this conversation anymore. He just wants to have a friend sleepover and focus on that and maybe get Leon to sleep somehow. He's not sure how cuddling in his bed is going to work anymore though.]
Yeah it's okay. You can lean on me whenever you like. You're so light. [He tries not to move too much once Leon's all settled on him but he does go to pet his head with his clean chipless hand, a soothing touch for maybe the both of them right now.]
I'll think about it Leon, but I won't reach out to you for that. I appreciate the concern but I'll figure it out. You just worry about your own self meeting quota okay? [He doesn't offer himself to help with Leon's Quota in return, instead he just takes a few more chips and munches on those as he pets Leon's hair and focuses on the wall in front of him rather than the tv. He doesn't really feel in the mood to watch that gameshow anymore. He's got too many worries in his head.]
That's fine, but it is really important you find a person or two. [He really hopes he does. Leon isn't sure how messed up a trip to SLUT would leave Zack but he knows it wouldn'tbe good.
He reaches out to steal a chip, munching quietly as he watches the sequence on the TV which may actually just be poorly disguised foot fetish stuff. It's definitely... something.
It seems to be a marathon of episodes though and halfway through the next one, he can't help but close his eyes. It's warm and comfortable curled against Zack and he hasn't slept more than short catnaps for days.]
I will Leon, I will [He just keeps petting the blonde against his chest as he says things he knows Leon would prefer to hear. He doesn't want him worrying about him. Zack's never liked people worrying about him. He's the one who is supposed to do all the worrying for others and make sure they are okay.
The moment does pass and the entire time they watch this weird foot show he starts to feel Leon become a little heavier as he hears his breathing even out. When Zack looks down he sees the man asleep against him and he can't help but blush a little as he moves some stray hair out of his face. He stays there for a bit to make sure Leon is totally asleep. Once he hears the heavier breathing he turns the tv off and carefully to not wake him up he picks up Leon bridal style, letting his head still lean against his chest and carries him to his bedroom where he lays the man down gently. Zack carefully gets in behind him and tucks them both in, letting Leon rest against both his chest and the pillow as he wraps an arm around his waist and tries to sleep himself.]
[Leon is exhausted. He's always exhausted. So, once he's asleep, he slips into a deep sleep. The slight jostling isn't enough to wake him and Zack is careful not to wake him. As the bed dips when Zack gets in beside him, Leon ends up curling against him, loosely draping his arm across his chest.
And he's good like this for a few hours, heavy, even breaths falling into a kind of rhythm with Zack's as they both sleep peacefully.
But his dreams are starting to turn nasty like they always do. His fingers twitch against Zack's chest as his breath catches and then speeds up for a moment before he goes quiet again. He makes a quiet noise, close to a whimper.
His dream is realistic, they always are. He and Zack are still watching TV when it suddenly flickers out and seconds later the power as a whole goes out. Zack says something about how he'll keep him safe, leaning closer to kiss him. Leon chuckles until he feels pain burn through his shoulder. Shoving Zack, the man has changed, eyes blank and glassy, the veins in his face black as he opens his mouth wider than he should be able to, lunging at Leon.
With an abrupt cry, Leon wakes up, his hair plastered to his forehead in a cold sweat, eyes wide in the darkness, scrambling to get away, his heart beating loudly, breathing rapid.
[Zack had learned how to be a light sleeper in his time at ShinRa. After all the time he spent sleeping in mako for years his sleeping got even worse. It was hard for Zack to get tired enough to sleep and when he did it usually didn't last too long either.
With Leon he is content in his sleep for once. He was so used to having Cloud at his side for months that it was hard to sleep with no one else around him. Of course it had been rare him and Cloud shared the same bed, but yet sharing with Leon felt right. The man's scent had lulled him to sleep more than the cozy weight at his side had.
The whimper is what starts to rouse Zack from his sleep. He yawns and stretches, still tired but slowly becoming aware of things. Rubbing his eyes in the dark room he looks around and remembers Leon is here. His eyes are glowing bright in the darkness, the only sort of light as he sees the man tossing a bit in his sleep. He starts to get a little worried and then suddenly Leon is up and awake and trying to get out of the bed.
Zack knows exactly what's going on, none of the details but he knows this is a night terror. He quickly turns to his nightstand to turn on a light and then is looking at Leon. He wants to hold him but he doesn't want to spook him more than he already is.]
Hey buddy, it's okay. You're okay, we're okay. Take a few deep breaths for me, alright?
[He has a hand extended to the man, taking a few calming breaths as example. If Leon takes his hand is on him but he's offering the touch to him.]
It's around three in the morning, I moved you to my bed since you fell asleep. It's just us, nothing will hurt you in this space, okay?
[Leon is wide eyed in the dark, rapid breath a clear indication that he's still panicking. He looks around, eyes darting, breathing shaky. As scared as he is, he's coiled tighter than a spring, ready to defend himself.
When nothing happens except Zack's quiet, soothing voice slowly pushing through the things he'd seen and felt in his nightmare, reality steadily filtering in.
Instead of taking his hand, Leon reaches out to touch Zack's face. In his dream, half of his face had been gone, ripped away before he'd turned. He looks fine now. Whole.] Zack?
[It's all coming back now. The sleepover, the terrible TV show. He lets his hand drop to his side again before rubbing it over his face, his breathing steadily evening out.] Sorry... I told you this would happen... [He sounds disappointed. Embarrassed. He hates that this is a thing.] I'm alright.
[Zack is expecting Leon to either pull further back or take his hand but he doesn't expect to be touched and not with such a shakey hand. The man is clearly very upset and this is very out of the normal protocol but he can adapt and so he leans into the touch, closing his eyes for a moment and smiling.] Yeah, it's me buddy. It's Zack. I'm here.
[He opens his eyes once more and places his own hand over the one on his face but Leon drops it before he can. Instead he does now reach for that hand and entwine their fingers together.] It's fine, I'm okay with this Leon. You aren't the first I've seen have issues sleeping like this. I'm actually trained in it, that's why I invited you over. I just thought if I told you that earlier you might avoid it but I want to help you. Is it okay if I hug you? Tell me what you need right now and keep the steady breathing okay? You're doing great.
[He keeps encouraging him, smiling the entire time as a way to show how honest he is in this moment. He does mean it that Leon's doing good. He wishes he could just wrap him in his arms and take all the pain away right now.]
[His gaze lowers to Zack's hand over his, resisting the urge to pull his own away. The nightmare is still fresh in his mind, Zack turning, half ripped apart, trying to mindlessly attack him.]
I thought you were a soldier? You're a shrink, too?
[He shakes his head, flashes of how Zack had looked, pressing in closer trying to rip his throat out.] No. Please don't. [His voice is quick and quiet, pulling his hand away to tuck his knees up against his chest and wrap his arms around them.]
I'm fine. I think I might get up for a bit. [If he was in his own place or even his Dominant's, he'd grab a drink right about now. Drinking was one of the only things he found that really helped him stop thinking. He's guessing Zack doesn't have anything.]
Not a shrink, just someone whose had similar issues and helped others with theirs.
[He makes sure to take a step away from Leon and get off the bed himself. He goes to his closet to grab another blanket and holds it up so Leon can see.]
I'm going to make us something to drink, can I put this blanket on you? I want you to stay and don't move too much alright? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.
[He has a feeling Leon wants to flee and while it might help in the here and now of things it won't if he flees so Zack wants him stayed and comfortable while he makes them both hot chocolate. He has a feeling though that Leon really doesn't want to look at him right now and that hurts a little but he isn't going to say anything on it, Leon's already stressed enough.] Do you like whipped cream?
[Leon gives him a stiff nod, though knowing that Zack isn't a therapist and has just dealt with this sort of thing makes him feel a tiny bit better.]
Something to drink? [For a fleeting moment, Leon is actually hopeful that Zack 'prescribes' to the same treatment to this sort of thing as he does, but he can only think of a few drinks someone would put whipped cream on.
He does wrap the blanket around him, more for Zack than because he thinks it'll help or that he needs it. He'd prefer to come with Zack, but he nods.] Yeah, whipped cream is fine.
[As soon as Zack is out of the room, he gets up and goes into the en suite running the water and splashing a bit over his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He silently tells himself to get his shit together and then heads back to the bed, sitting back down but forgetting the blanket.]
Okay, I'll be right in there if you need me okay? [With that he goes to the kitchen and works as fast as he can to make some instant hot cocoa. He added whipped cream to both and even a few odd looking marshmallows. They are shaped like little penises as that was all he could find in the store. He thinks it might make Leon laugh a little and laughing would be good right now.
As he's making their late night treat he hears movement in the room and then the water running. It seems Leon did move and he sighs but he can't blame the guy. He hasn't made himself or this space a safe space yet for Leon. So he carries the drinks back in and hands one to Leon before putting his own down.]
It's still hot okay? So just need to blow on it first.
[He smiles for a moment, looking at Leon and his uncovered self and so he goes to the bathroom to grab the discarded blanket. He then goes to the other side of the bed and puts the blanket in his lap, fiddling with it a little.]
If you want, you can lean against me again or something. I won't force contact but if you want it I'm right here.
[He only moves to get his own hot cocoa and then he's blowing on his in the silence of the room.]
Would you like to talk about it, or do you want to hear a story?
[The sounds of Zack in the kitchen are strangely reassuring. Just the normal noises of someone making tea or whatever he's doing. It's very normal and ends up being unintentionally grounding. He's sure the more time he puts between himself and the nightmare, the less vivid the images are becoming.
He's definitely had much worse.] What is it?
[He's praying for hot cider but he doesn't think he'll be that lucky. He takes the mug, peering at it.] Hot chocolate?
[His gaze falls to the blanket, not even realizing it had slipped off while he'd been in the bathroom.] Sorry.
[He actually nods, but doesn't immediately move.] I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about something else. [He's not sold on the whole story thing. He does, however, shift slightly until his leg bumps up against Zack's. It's not much, but it already feels like a grounding point.]
It's all I had and I hope it's okay. I can get more things if you want to visit more Leon. Maybe later we can go shopping together for food and stuff you like?
[He's trying and when Leon does move a little closer so their legs touch, Zack doesn't hide his smile but doesn't pull him closer either.] No need to be sorry, you've done nothing wrong at all.
[He takes a sip of his drink, getting a bit of whipped cream on his upper lip that he licks off.] Talk about something else...got it....[He pauses and looks down at the camouflaged marshmallows in the whipped cream.]
Do you like the dick mallows? I thought they were funny so I bought them.
It's fine, Zack. Really. It's actually more than I really need. [Although he does pause to give Zack a confused, questioning glance when Zack says he not only want to go shopping with him but he wants to go shopping for things he wants.] You don't need to keep things stocked for me, Z.
[Leon's lips press tightly together for a moment when Zack tries to reassure him, telling him he hasn't done anything wrong. But it just doesn't feel that way. Having a nightmare, sure, they happen. But he doesn't understand why they haven't stopped, why some people can go through what he had and more and not be the broken mess he's ended up. That feels like his fault. Like he should be stronger. Better.
Zack's question does succeed in getting him out of his own head and he slurps on some of the whipped cream if only to get it out of the way so he can see one of the melty little dicks floating there and snorts softly, cracking a tired smile.] Yeah, they're pretty great.
Is that the only dick-themed food you got? The cereal I have is also dick shaped. [In fact, it seemed like dicks were just the go to shape of a lot of things. Dicks and boobs.]
[Zack's smile does brighten a little at the nickname. Z, it's so simple but he likes it a lot.] I think it'd actually be really fun if we went shopping for groceries together. I never got to back home with anyone, just ate stuff they served in the mess hall or things my mentor would cook me mostly. Besides some fast food I mean.
[He takes another sip and nearly spits it out when he hears about dick cereal] You have cereal like that?!? Oh man now we have to go shopping together. You have to show me it, that sounds so funny!
[He does decide then that he really likes Leon's little laugh. It wasn't too loud but he still picked it up and had his face tint a little pink.] Your smile really suits you Leon. [The words kind of just come out and he goes a little more pink in the face.] I mean not that you don't look good without it either, it just looks nice I think! I just think I'd like to see it more and I'm glad I caused it this time is all!
[Leon gives him a dubious look, but it makes sense once Zack says grocery shopping hadn't really been a thing for him before coming here. It wasn't a mundane chore to him, then but something novel and fun.] Hm. Fine, but we can just find some stuff that you'll want too. You don't need to buy things just for me.
Mmhmm. Honey Nut Dicks.
[It's not even a joke, it's literally what they're called here.
Zack's compliment catches him by surprise and he blinks owlishly at him for a moment before blushing a little himself.] Thanks.
[He looks thoughtful, even frowning slightly, at what Zack says. His smiles had been pretty fleeting since Raccoon City... and the government intervention afterward.] It's a little easier here. [He feels like he's admitting to something, but it's true. As awful as this place could be, it was a different kind of awful from home. But he gives Zack a smirk.] Keep playing your cards right and maybe you'll get a few more.
[He sets the mug down on the bedside table and without saying a word, leans against Zack, nudging just a little at the perfect height for him to put his arm around his shoulders if he wanted, letting out a long exhale as he relaxed. He's not sure he wants to keep talking, or what to talk about, but he wants Zack to know he's done a good job, that this had helped.]
[Zack's laughing so hard he almost missed Leon giving him that smirk and he does fully miss the blush on the other mans face. He's wiping a fake tear from his eye from laughing so hard and puts his cup of cocoa away.]
I hope I do. Your smile's worth it.
[He had wanted to hug Leon then but in a turn of event, the man leans on him and he turns red. He takes the hint and does wrap and arm around Leon, still sitting up and letting him lay against him as much as he wants.]
Hey Leon...mind if I put the tv on mute in here for a bit?
[His voice is softer as he asks. If Leon falls back asleep he wants to stay awake to make sure he can stop the bad dreams before they come and tv will help him stay awake if they sort of cuddle like they are right now.]
[Leon chuckles. It hadn't been too funny when he'd said it himself, but watching Zack laugh so hard he's almost crying is great. He's smiling again, this time because he really can't help it, just smiling to himself.
Once Zack has the laughter out of his system, he does get hit with a wave of sudden exhaustion, the adrenaline from his nightmare having subsided and leaving him drained. He gets comfortable against Zack, immediately feeling the warmth radiating from his body pleasantly against his side, only making him sleepier. The weight of his arm only makes it better.]
Mmhmm. Don't worry about muting it. I fall asleep with the TV on all the time. [The noise helps. People talking. He likes that. Or maybe he's just passed out on his couch so many times at this point that his brain has rewired to want the noise.
Muted or not, he knows he's going to nod off pretty quickly and he barely makes it five minutes into the show before he's back asleep. Somewhere between breathing heavily and lightly snoring, he shifts to put his arm around Zack.]
[Zack's laughter and smiles have always been contagious and it seems Leon isn't immune to them either. Zack's glad for that, he would feel awful if Leon didn't smile more and he's happy to get another beautiful smile out of the man.]
Alright, I'll keep it low and watch over you okay? [He turns the tv on, getting comfortable with Leon at his side and even leans a bit to place a kiss on the top of his head as he focuses on the random show and not at the handsome man in his arms currently.
Zack keeps his promise and stays up, not really getting too tired and focused on the show and Leon's breathing. The snoring is adorable and he keeps trying to focus more on the show. The man doesn't want anything extra with him, he's trying not to get a little attached but it's okay if they are friends right? Holding a friend who needs comfort isn't always romantic, he just has to keep reminding himself that.
With Leon almost hugging him in his sleep, Zack goes a little stiff for a moment, caught off guard but he quickly melts into the touch and just smiles, looking down at the sleeping man in his arms.]
Sweet dreams Leon
[He gives him a little bit of a squeeze before he adjusts the blankets on them more and shifts a bit so he can fully hold the other man, cuddling him like he's wanted to since he woke up from that nightmare.]
[When Leon wakes again, the room is just starting to get light, the TV off. He's lying on his side, still half asleep, warm, pressed close to someone else. He ends up closing his eyes and nodding off again, too comfortable to wake up just yet. But when he stirs again, he can feel it, hard, pressing insistently against his ass. Not quite awake yet, he smirks faintly in the early morning glow, arching slightly to roll his hips back, grinding his ass shamelessly back against Zack.
He's not quite awake enough yet to realize who is pressed up against him, but he sleepily reaches behind him to gently palm him through his pajamas. Part of him likely assumes its Hermes. They're big, the cock heavy in his hand as he teases him.
He makes a quiet noise before shifting, pressing his back more fully against their chest and pulling their arm around him, wanting to feel more snuggly held against them. At this point, he's half hard too but he doesn't want to bother his partner any more, they'll both be ready to wake up eventually.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 04:35 pm (UTC)He catches the faint blush, still glowing himself but Zack leans in slightly, so he tilts his head for a better angle. He lets Zack lead, closing his eyes as their lips meet. It's slow and sweet, Zack's lips soft against his. He lets this kiss linger a moment longerbefore tilting his head slightly to rest his forehead against Zack's.
That had been very... feelings-ful and it leaves him conflicted, their initial conversation with Rude replaying in his mind.]
That was nice. You are a good kisser. [His voice is quiet, the words practically murmured against Zack's lips.] But I... I want... [He pauses, collects his thoughts, then tries again.] You should know, before we go any further, I'm not looking for anything more than friends with benefits. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Zack. And I don't want to hurt you. If that's not okay, we can just hang out, y'know? [He searches Zack's eyes as he speaks, watching for flickers of emotion, needing to see how he'll react.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 05:13 pm (UTC)[Zack's happy to press his forehead against Leon's noses touching and his toes curling a little bit as he's assaulted with butterflies in his stomach at how nice this is. He really needs to kiss his friends more often, that's what he's taking from this.] You're soft Leon. [The man sort of feels a bit like a cozy teddy bear in his arms and he gives a squeeze, enjoying the short soft moment that he'll wish could last longer.]
[When Leon looks at him his happy almost dreamy expressions falters. Leon just wants to be friends who fuck is what he's hearing. He's sure that works for others but he wants to be more than that, not right now but to hear any possibility of more in the future be crushed so quickly has him pouting as he pulls back, his grip on Leon nearly nonexistent now.]
O-Oh...I thought...I mean... okay. [Leon had just said he liked the kiss so why would he say that now? Had he been lying and just been nice that maybe it wasn't good enough? Zack doesn't know but takes a moment to bring back his smile, just not as bright as it was before.] If that's what you want then I'll respect your wishes. We can just be friends then.
[He's not sure if he should have Leon in his arms now. He knows he used to sit like this with Angeal rarely so it might still be okay but maybe it's too much for Leon now.]
Ah...should we maybe um...do you want to sit at the other end of the couch instead? Is this still okay?
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 05:35 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, Zack. I just... I can't. I can't do that. Not here. Not when people don't have control over themselves half the time and disappear without warning. I just... can't. [Whether he's actually succeeding at that is another story entirely.
Tilting his head he gives Zack a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth apologetically.]
I'm good with whatever you're okay doing. [He gives his shoulder a squeeze, a fat more 'friendly' gesture. Just friends. Yep.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 05:59 pm (UTC)No it's okay. I get it I think. I don't think I could do the benefits part really. I don't want things to be meaningless. I spent so many years not telling people how much I loved them or what they meant to me but I see it now and I don't want to waste something so intimate just to fulfill a task, even if it gets me in trouble.
[The kiss to his cheek doesn't really help but he does keep his faded smile up and doesn't go back to holding Leon either but he also doesn't move him from his lap.]
You can stay here if you like. I won't do anything I promise but could you maybe pass me the bowl of chips over there?
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 06:11 pm (UTC)[Leon slides off his lap and nestles in beside him pressed into his side, his head leaning against his chest.] This okay?
[He looks reluctant to bring up what he's about to bring up but Zack's comment about getting in trouble has him worried again.] Zack... speaking from experience... you do not want to end up in jail here.
Please, if you think you might not make quota please, please consider getting help from someone. It doesn't have to be me but I am willing to help. As long as it's someone.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 06:42 pm (UTC)Yeah it's okay. You can lean on me whenever you like. You're so light. [He tries not to move too much once Leon's all settled on him but he does go to pet his head with his clean chipless hand, a soothing touch for maybe the both of them right now.]
I'll think about it Leon, but I won't reach out to you for that. I appreciate the concern but I'll figure it out. You just worry about your own self meeting quota okay? [He doesn't offer himself to help with Leon's Quota in return, instead he just takes a few more chips and munches on those as he pets Leon's hair and focuses on the wall in front of him rather than the tv. He doesn't really feel in the mood to watch that gameshow anymore. He's got too many worries in his head.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 09:11 pm (UTC)He reaches out to steal a chip, munching quietly as he watches the sequence on the TV which may actually just be poorly disguised foot fetish stuff. It's definitely... something.
It seems to be a marathon of episodes though and halfway through the next one, he can't help but close his eyes. It's warm and comfortable curled against Zack and he hasn't slept more than short catnaps for days.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-08 09:33 pm (UTC)The moment does pass and the entire time they watch this weird foot show he starts to feel Leon become a little heavier as he hears his breathing even out. When Zack looks down he sees the man asleep against him and he can't help but blush a little as he moves some stray hair out of his face. He stays there for a bit to make sure Leon is totally asleep. Once he hears the heavier breathing he turns the tv off and carefully to not wake him up he picks up Leon bridal style, letting his head still lean against his chest and carries him to his bedroom where he lays the man down gently. Zack carefully gets in behind him and tucks them both in, letting Leon rest against both his chest and the pillow as he wraps an arm around his waist and tries to sleep himself.]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-10 04:53 am (UTC)And he's good like this for a few hours, heavy, even breaths falling into a kind of rhythm with Zack's as they both sleep peacefully.
But his dreams are starting to turn nasty like they always do. His fingers twitch against Zack's chest as his breath catches and then speeds up for a moment before he goes quiet again. He makes a quiet noise, close to a whimper.
His dream is realistic, they always are. He and Zack are still watching TV when it suddenly flickers out and seconds later the power as a whole goes out. Zack says something about how he'll keep him safe, leaning closer to kiss him. Leon chuckles until he feels pain burn through his shoulder. Shoving Zack, the man has changed, eyes blank and glassy, the veins in his face black as he opens his mouth wider than he should be able to, lunging at Leon.
With an abrupt cry, Leon wakes up, his hair plastered to his forehead in a cold sweat, eyes wide in the darkness, scrambling to get away, his heart beating loudly, breathing rapid.
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Date: 2023-11-10 03:36 pm (UTC)With Leon he is content in his sleep for once. He was so used to having Cloud at his side for months that it was hard to sleep with no one else around him. Of course it had been rare him and Cloud shared the same bed, but yet sharing with Leon felt right. The man's scent had lulled him to sleep more than the cozy weight at his side had.
The whimper is what starts to rouse Zack from his sleep. He yawns and stretches, still tired but slowly becoming aware of things. Rubbing his eyes in the dark room he looks around and remembers Leon is here. His eyes are glowing bright in the darkness, the only sort of light as he sees the man tossing a bit in his sleep. He starts to get a little worried and then suddenly Leon is up and awake and trying to get out of the bed.
Zack knows exactly what's going on, none of the details but he knows this is a night terror. He quickly turns to his nightstand to turn on a light and then is looking at Leon. He wants to hold him but he doesn't want to spook him more than he already is.]
Hey buddy, it's okay. You're okay, we're okay. Take a few deep breaths for me, alright?
[He has a hand extended to the man, taking a few calming breaths as example. If Leon takes his hand is on him but he's offering the touch to him.]
It's around three in the morning, I moved you to my bed since you fell asleep. It's just us, nothing will hurt you in this space, okay?
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Date: 2023-11-11 07:17 am (UTC)When nothing happens except Zack's quiet, soothing voice slowly pushing through the things he'd seen and felt in his nightmare, reality steadily filtering in.
Instead of taking his hand, Leon reaches out to touch Zack's face. In his dream, half of his face had been gone, ripped away before he'd turned. He looks fine now. Whole.] Zack?
[It's all coming back now. The sleepover, the terrible TV show. He lets his hand drop to his side again before rubbing it over his face, his breathing steadily evening out.] Sorry... I told you this would happen... [He sounds disappointed. Embarrassed. He hates that this is a thing.] I'm alright.
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Date: 2023-11-12 04:18 pm (UTC)[He opens his eyes once more and places his own hand over the one on his face but Leon drops it before he can. Instead he does now reach for that hand and entwine their fingers together.] It's fine, I'm okay with this Leon. You aren't the first I've seen have issues sleeping like this. I'm actually trained in it, that's why I invited you over. I just thought if I told you that earlier you might avoid it but I want to help you. Is it okay if I hug you? Tell me what you need right now and keep the steady breathing okay? You're doing great.
[He keeps encouraging him, smiling the entire time as a way to show how honest he is in this moment. He does mean it that Leon's doing good. He wishes he could just wrap him in his arms and take all the pain away right now.]
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Date: 2023-11-13 05:30 am (UTC)I thought you were a soldier? You're a shrink, too?
[He shakes his head, flashes of how Zack had looked, pressing in closer trying to rip his throat out.] No. Please don't. [His voice is quick and quiet, pulling his hand away to tuck his knees up against his chest and wrap his arms around them.]
I'm fine. I think I might get up for a bit. [If he was in his own place or even his Dominant's, he'd grab a drink right about now. Drinking was one of the only things he found that really helped him stop thinking. He's guessing Zack doesn't have anything.]
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Date: 2023-11-13 02:02 pm (UTC)[He makes sure to take a step away from Leon and get off the bed himself. He goes to his closet to grab another blanket and holds it up so Leon can see.]
I'm going to make us something to drink, can I put this blanket on you? I want you to stay and don't move too much alright? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.
[He has a feeling Leon wants to flee and while it might help in the here and now of things it won't if he flees so Zack wants him stayed and comfortable while he makes them both hot chocolate. He has a feeling though that Leon really doesn't want to look at him right now and that hurts a little but he isn't going to say anything on it, Leon's already stressed enough.] Do you like whipped cream?
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Date: 2023-11-14 03:38 am (UTC)Something to drink? [For a fleeting moment, Leon is actually hopeful that Zack 'prescribes' to the same treatment to this sort of thing as he does, but he can only think of a few drinks someone would put whipped cream on.
He does wrap the blanket around him, more for Zack than because he thinks it'll help or that he needs it. He'd prefer to come with Zack, but he nods.] Yeah, whipped cream is fine.
[As soon as Zack is out of the room, he gets up and goes into the en suite running the water and splashing a bit over his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He silently tells himself to get his shit together and then heads back to the bed, sitting back down but forgetting the blanket.]
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Date: 2023-11-14 02:05 pm (UTC)As he's making their late night treat he hears movement in the room and then the water running. It seems Leon did move and he sighs but he can't blame the guy. He hasn't made himself or this space a safe space yet for Leon. So he carries the drinks back in and hands one to Leon before putting his own down.]
It's still hot okay? So just need to blow on it first.
[He smiles for a moment, looking at Leon and his uncovered self and so he goes to the bathroom to grab the discarded blanket. He then goes to the other side of the bed and puts the blanket in his lap, fiddling with it a little.]
If you want, you can lean against me again or something. I won't force contact but if you want it I'm right here.
[He only moves to get his own hot cocoa and then he's blowing on his in the silence of the room.]
Would you like to talk about it, or do you want to hear a story?
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Date: 2023-11-15 05:09 am (UTC)He's definitely had much worse.] What is it?
[He's praying for hot cider but he doesn't think he'll be that lucky. He takes the mug, peering at it.] Hot chocolate?
[His gaze falls to the blanket, not even realizing it had slipped off while he'd been in the bathroom.] Sorry.
[He actually nods, but doesn't immediately move.] I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about something else. [He's not sold on the whole story thing. He does, however, shift slightly until his leg bumps up against Zack's. It's not much, but it already feels like a grounding point.]
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Date: 2023-11-15 03:17 pm (UTC)[He's trying and when Leon does move a little closer so their legs touch, Zack doesn't hide his smile but doesn't pull him closer either.] No need to be sorry, you've done nothing wrong at all.
[He takes a sip of his drink, getting a bit of whipped cream on his upper lip that he licks off.] Talk about something else...got it....[He pauses and looks down at the camouflaged marshmallows in the whipped cream.]
Do you like the dick mallows? I thought they were funny so I bought them.
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Date: 2023-11-18 02:17 am (UTC)[Leon's lips press tightly together for a moment when Zack tries to reassure him, telling him he hasn't done anything wrong. But it just doesn't feel that way. Having a nightmare, sure, they happen. But he doesn't understand why they haven't stopped, why some people can go through what he had and more and not be the broken mess he's ended up. That feels like his fault. Like he should be stronger. Better.
Zack's question does succeed in getting him out of his own head and he slurps on some of the whipped cream if only to get it out of the way so he can see one of the melty little dicks floating there and snorts softly, cracking a tired smile.] Yeah, they're pretty great.
Is that the only dick-themed food you got? The cereal I have is also dick shaped. [In fact, it seemed like dicks were just the go to shape of a lot of things. Dicks and boobs.]
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Date: 2023-11-20 05:40 pm (UTC)[He takes another sip and nearly spits it out when he hears about dick cereal] You have cereal like that?!? Oh man now we have to go shopping together. You have to show me it, that sounds so funny!
[He does decide then that he really likes Leon's little laugh. It wasn't too loud but he still picked it up and had his face tint a little pink.] Your smile really suits you Leon. [The words kind of just come out and he goes a little more pink in the face.] I mean not that you don't look good without it either, it just looks nice I think! I just think I'd like to see it more and I'm glad I caused it this time is all!
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Date: 2023-11-20 07:54 pm (UTC)Mmhmm. Honey Nut Dicks.
[It's not even a joke, it's literally what they're called here.
Zack's compliment catches him by surprise and he blinks owlishly at him for a moment before blushing a little himself.] Thanks.
[He looks thoughtful, even frowning slightly, at what Zack says. His smiles had been pretty fleeting since Raccoon City... and the government intervention afterward.] It's a little easier here. [He feels like he's admitting to something, but it's true. As awful as this place could be, it was a different kind of awful from home. But he gives Zack a smirk.] Keep playing your cards right and maybe you'll get a few more.
[He sets the mug down on the bedside table and without saying a word, leans against Zack, nudging just a little at the perfect height for him to put his arm around his shoulders if he wanted, letting out a long exhale as he relaxed. He's not sure he wants to keep talking, or what to talk about, but he wants Zack to know he's done a good job, that this had helped.]
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Date: 2023-11-20 08:04 pm (UTC)[Zack's laughing so hard he almost missed Leon giving him that smirk and he does fully miss the blush on the other mans face. He's wiping a fake tear from his eye from laughing so hard and puts his cup of cocoa away.]
I hope I do. Your smile's worth it.
[He had wanted to hug Leon then but in a turn of event, the man leans on him and he turns red. He takes the hint and does wrap and arm around Leon, still sitting up and letting him lay against him as much as he wants.]
Hey Leon...mind if I put the tv on mute in here for a bit?
[His voice is softer as he asks. If Leon falls back asleep he wants to stay awake to make sure he can stop the bad dreams before they come and tv will help him stay awake if they sort of cuddle like they are right now.]
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Date: 2023-11-21 07:12 am (UTC)Once Zack has the laughter out of his system, he does get hit with a wave of sudden exhaustion, the adrenaline from his nightmare having subsided and leaving him drained. He gets comfortable against Zack, immediately feeling the warmth radiating from his body pleasantly against his side, only making him sleepier. The weight of his arm only makes it better.]
Mmhmm. Don't worry about muting it. I fall asleep with the TV on all the time. [The noise helps. People talking. He likes that. Or maybe he's just passed out on his couch so many times at this point that his brain has rewired to want the noise.
Muted or not, he knows he's going to nod off pretty quickly and he barely makes it five minutes into the show before he's back asleep. Somewhere between breathing heavily and lightly snoring, he shifts to put his arm around Zack.]
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Date: 2023-11-22 01:15 pm (UTC)Alright, I'll keep it low and watch over you okay? [He turns the tv on, getting comfortable with Leon at his side and even leans a bit to place a kiss on the top of his head as he focuses on the random show and not at the handsome man in his arms currently.
Zack keeps his promise and stays up, not really getting too tired and focused on the show and Leon's breathing. The snoring is adorable and he keeps trying to focus more on the show. The man doesn't want anything extra with him, he's trying not to get a little attached but it's okay if they are friends right? Holding a friend who needs comfort isn't always romantic, he just has to keep reminding himself that.
With Leon almost hugging him in his sleep, Zack goes a little stiff for a moment, caught off guard but he quickly melts into the touch and just smiles, looking down at the sleeping man in his arms.]
Sweet dreams Leon
[He gives him a little bit of a squeeze before he adjusts the blankets on them more and shifts a bit so he can fully hold the other man, cuddling him like he's wanted to since he woke up from that nightmare.]
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Date: 2023-11-24 07:41 am (UTC)He's not quite awake enough yet to realize who is pressed up against him, but he sleepily reaches behind him to gently palm him through his pajamas. Part of him likely assumes its Hermes. They're big, the cock heavy in his hand as he teases him.
He makes a quiet noise before shifting, pressing his back more fully against their chest and pulling their arm around him, wanting to feel more snuggly held against them. At this point, he's half hard too but he doesn't want to bother his partner any more, they'll both be ready to wake up eventually.
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